Forget the Zombies

 

This started out as a product review of the Mako Fab AGMF500 FK M4 Folding and Collapsible Buttstock for the Mossberg 500 shot gun and I promise I will come around to that.  However…

 

the zombie apocalypse

Did you know the Zombies are coming? … Better get YOU a shotgun!

 

 Zombie Apocalypse Survivors

  Fortunately or unfortunately I don’t do television, subsequently I had no clue there is a Zombie Apocalypse on the way… I found out during my research of folding stocks for the Mossberg 500 12ga. shotgun… Needless to say I was aghast by what I found…

No not the Zombies…Zombies don’t scare me.

I’ve seen plenty of the  insatiably hungry, mindless walking dead… Just give anyone a fat doobie of wicked sin semilla weed, and wait for the munchies to set in…  Look out… Because they will wander aimlessly growling and gnashing their teeth looking for something to eat… But hell, they are easy to knock off because they’re stupid.

 

how to kill zombies

How to Kill a Stupid Zombie…Shoot them in the Head… Kablamo!!!

 

What I’m afraid of though, is the Zombie Apocalypse Survivors:

 

  Anyone… Everyone… And their Grandma’s Tabby Cat can buy a Zombie Killing Cannon, and that scares the $h1t out of me because I’m sure that every other house, apartment and 100% of the trailer parks are heavily armed with what amount to hand held howitzers… The 12 gauge pump action shotgun is a mean mother and they are cheaper than dirt… less than $300… And you know, you can blow a door clean off it’s hinges with one of these things… Serious but cheap fire power.

 

The Mossberg 500. A $300 Zombie killin' Connon.

The Mossberg 500… A $300 Zombie killin’ Connon.

 

Humongous firepower is available to all for dirt cheap and the only problem with it is it wont fit in your sock drawer… But I’ll address that in a bit when I get to that review I promised…

So… Here are the real problems of the coming apocalypse:

 

redneck shotgun

Rednecks – Playing with Cannons but not a Full Deck of Cards.

 

  “I’ma gonna shoot me one of em thar zombies an skin it fer dinner”There are literally going to be a million of these out there after the apocalypse hits… Shooting the hell out of anything that moves. I suspect their range will be limited to the Deep South and Midwest of the United States but there will be hoards of them roaming armed to the teeth.

 

Skinhead  Nazi Zombie Fighter

Skinhead Nazi Type Armed with a Zombie Blasting Cannon.

 

  I don’t know if I need to explain these…  But pockets of them are to be found all over from the Pacific North West all the way down and across the Southern States to Florida… Even in and around LA…. Guaranteed these are going to rain hell in the post apocalypse world.

 

Urban Gangster Fashion and Zombie Blaster

Urban Gangster Fashion + Zombie Blaster = Mayhem

 

Yeah… Everyone has a 12 gauge cannon… Tens of thousands of urban gangsters blowing up zombies and everything else in their path throughout the nation’s cities… What a nightmare.

 

zombie Apocalypse USA

And then there is the government…

 

  Holy Mother of Christ and then there is our own government…  Considering their track record this bunch of hooligans will probably be the most destructive bunch of lunatics and madmen running around blowing $h1t up… Look the hell out for these guys because the will come in all like your friend and then bury your corpse in a ditch.

Assured Mutual Destruction in The Zombie Apocalypse

 

PS the barrel gets really hot after about 16 rounds – Blow $h1t up – Mossberg 500 With a Heat Shield

 

  Considering the ubiquitous nature of these cannon armed psychos you probably aught to get one too. The 12 gauge shotgun is one hell of a defense weapon and if worse comes to worst (or even still more worser) you can use it as a bong to get higher than a kite and wait for death.

 And here is my Product Review:

Mako Fab Stock For the Mossberg 500 Review

As I stated earlier, this was originally meant to be a product review of  shotgun folding stocks. One of the drawbacks of the Mossberg 500 and other 12 gauge shotguns is…  It’s a shotgun… And as such even with an 18.5″ or 20″ barrel a shotgun is an unwieldy thing and the length of the stock makes it very difficult for a smaller person to fire… And damn hard to carry or store.

 

Mako Fab ABMF500K Mossberg folding stock

The Mako Fab ABMF500K Mossberg Folding Collapsible Stock.

 The Mako Fab Folding and Collapsible Stock for the Mossberg 500

What Mako Fab has to say:

The AGMF500 FK M4 Folding and Collapsible Buttstock for the Mossberg 500 provides you with additional tactical versatility.

Advantages:

  • Rock solid One Piece Ergonomic Design
  • Special Non-Slip Texture
  • Made from Reinforced Composite Materials
  • Enhances Natural Fighting Stance and Hold on your Shotgun
  • Slightly Angled to Counter Recoil
  • No Gunsmith Required
  • Provides Storage Compartment for Batteries/Cleaning Kit
  • Optional- M4 Style Aluminum Buffer Tube and Our Famous GLR-16 Buttstock Upgrade

 

  I can’t disagree with any of this… This is one solid and well engineered piece of equipment. Mako Tactical produces a truly fine product and worth every penny they get for it ($207.70 suggested retail price), and this folding stock is no exception. The only drawback with this stock is that if you have very small hands it will be difficult for you to reach the slide lock (but isn’t that the case with all shotgun grips?). The folding lock is solid and the overall build is excellent. It is easy to operate and when folded you can fit that damn cannon in your sock drawer.

Basically this is a fine product and I can easily recommend it over the less expensive alternatives… Yeah, I bought some of those too in order to check them out for you my faithful reader but in light of this one there is no point in even mentioning them.

 Now back to the Zombies:

Killing Zombies En Mass

Once you have armed yourself with a cannon against the Zombie Apocalypse  Survivors…  This is what you want for killing zombies… A Molotov Cocktail:

 

Zombies... kill it with fire.

The Molotov Cocktail – Universal Zombie Killer.

 

How to Make a Molotov Cocktail for Killing Zombies:

  • Empty contents of glass bottle.
  • Pour gasoline and a little motor oil into the bottle about up to the neck.
  •  Tie a rag around the neck of the bottle, or better yet tie it around the bottom then seal the bottle’s neck with a cork. this will allow the neck to be used as a throwing handle, increasing the potential throwing range by nearly double. Note: do not stuff the rag down neck, this exposes fumes to the lit rag which could causes a premature explosion killing you and not the zombies (only dumb ass Rednecks, Gangsters and Klansters do this).
  • Arming your Molotov, squirt a little lighter fluid on the rag and light it the chuck it hard as hell at the approaching zombie hoard.
  • Run like a wildman towards saftey

 

3 thoughts on “Forget the Zombies

  1. “Sin semilla?” That’s funny right there. Not the “sin semilla” itself, but that you were able to recall that shit, brother. That said, thanks for the review. I’ve been meaning to git myself on of them there Mossberg 500s. I will, however, have to pass on the Mako Tactical folding and collapsible stock as appealing as it may seem.

  2. Frankie… The only reason I can remember Sin Semilla Dope is because I quit smokin’ it when I was still young. The only real reasons to have this stock is for the grip, the ability to adjust the length (so the little lady can handle it) and packing it in a smaller place than your “easy rider riffle rack”… Outside of that it’s a hand full of money spent to look like Rambo.

    PS :) Good to see you around here and there again Brother.

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